I’ve had a crazy last week! PR events and functions demand that I speak in front of big audiences, so I’ve been doing a lot more public speaking recently. In the past I’ve tended to shy away from these type of things because I don’t like to get recognised too much when I’m teaching. I LOVE to teach infield so it would add pressure if I was to get recognised all the time, especially because I sarge popular venues.
“There’s Kingy! Lets follow him around and watch his every move!”.
I’m happy to do more PR stuff now as long as I can continue to teach infield. To my suprise public speaking and being good at pick up have very little in common. Being able to communicate well with charisma is an obvious similarity but that is where it ends. What I’ve learnt is that it is all about getting used to large numbers, as soon as you have done that, you will reeeeellllaaaxxxxx!
I’m always talking to ten people at a time (including other instructors), because I’ve taught five years of bootcamp every weekend. What I found suprising was the extra anxiety that I got from doing a gig which increased that slightly to thirty people. You would think that ten to thirty wouldn’t make much difference.
Everything is in the mind, if you have fairly nervous genetics (I have worse than most) then any new environment will be a shock and scary. This means that it is easy for the fight or flight response to get triggered. When this gets triggered you will go into survival mode…. this is NOT a relaxing experience! Adrenaline will pump around your body and you will be ready for combat! It is important to stop this before it gets triggered rather than damage limitation.
When you increase your comfort zone, it can feel like hard work, however when it has been increased you will see the benefits. Last week I spoke to an audience of two hundred people about natural pick up. If I hadn’t put in the hard work of increasing my public speaking comfort zone, then it would’ve been very difficult. You always want to be thinking, what do I want? Then start to increase your comfort zone towards that so you will feel relaxed doing it.
Below is a lush value video from last weekends bootcamp. I haven’t been filming the bootcamps for a while so thought it would be a good oppertunity to get a bit of footage for you. I love teaching, rewarding, hard work, but extreme fun too!
The students got a load of numbers, some instant date options (but chose to stay with the instructors), plus one student went on an instant date with a HOT blonde whilst I was doing the wireless mic work with him. He took her to a bar, had several drinks with her and could’ve taken her home but he wanted to continue with the bootcamp because he was having too much fun! That is a compliment because her looks were on the level of a model, even to me.
There are many people out there with bad intentions who are completely confident. Delusionaly confident, think narcissism on a different level. Men for whatever reason who have missed out on empathy.
The irony of self development is that it teaches you that you are not enough already. However this is false because self development is not about becoming a new person but instead your self discovery, finding out who you already are and self acceptance.
Be confident because you are taking action NOW don’t wait to reach a future goal which will never come. Be Confident.
Men who have no empathy, which means they don’t care for others feelings, will always be confident. They are missing a certain circuit in their brain which regulates if they are making someone else feel unhappy or not. I’m sure you’ve all seen the manipulative guy at the bus stop with the hot woman. He doesn’t care how she feels and also knows what buttons to push on the woman. This not caring appears to her as confidence.
Some might argue that this is the “survival of the fittest”……. he is simply, surviving and replicating……. I would call this a social loop hole though.
My point is that you shouldn’t wait to become a perfectly enlightened person before feeling that you can be confident. Be confident now for the fact that you are on your journey of self discovery in the first place.
“I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!” - Kurt Cobain
Kurt like many musicians I imagine was very sensitive to feelings and the emotions of others. He managed to make a great legacy by expressing himself authentically through his music. His personal life was always troubled though, with reports that he was shy, unconfident and depressed.
Don’t place unrealistic expectations on yourself. Be confident now, women want to meet you, they want to have sex with you. Do these women a favour!
Women mostly run on emotions and their biological desires….. unless she is into meditation or yoga. Most women will find the guy that doesn’t give a shit about them confident and attractive. The man that lacks empathy is like a woman with fake tits, she looks nice, but there is no actual substance to the attraction. It is an illusion. Believe in yourself and she will too.
Don’t wait, approach with full confidence, the reality you make is in your mind so grasp it today! Be confident because you do have empathy for others, that is why you are special.
If you think you can then you are probably right, if you think you can’t then you are also probably right.
Anyways I’m off to get a bit of food. Last Wednesday I just came off another 21 days of fruit only so I’m slowly finding my way back to cooked food again. There only reason I stopped the fruit only detox was for a public speaking event and I was carrying a little bit of detox symptoms so had to stop it.
That is for another post though!
Catch you laters,
Peace n Love,