Word up Yo!
Checkout this video I did with Cieran. He has also provided his own personal BIO below, an interesting read for sure. I would also like to point out that the blow out in the middle of the video was done on purpose. We wanted to illustrate the crucial point that it doesn’t matter if you approach and get rejected. As long as you’ve approached then be happy, that is all that matters!
Anyway enjoy the vid and the text below.
Peace n Love,
Kingy
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From Cieran (Instructor exclusively for PUA Method Bootcamps & 1-1s)
People often ask me how was I able to go out on my own approaching women & how come I didn’t give up sooner? It’s simple really…. I felt like I had NO choice!!! Failure was never an option for me, I could either (a) talk to girls with the chance of getting laid, or (b) go back to staying indoors feeling depressed and girl-less.
What’s the better option here? It’s clearly (a)
The one thing that allowed me to build momentum was the small successes. I focused on the positives, whether that was a girl smiling, talking and getting a number, to a kiss, or a lay or whatever. This was sometimes incredibly hard to do, as some nights I would get blown out constantly leaving me feeling like crap. Sometimes the pain was so bad that I would sit down on the side of the street and breakdown crying. But I just knew I had to keep on going, I just knew if I kept persisting I would get results.
You could call this blind faith.
Instead of letting the pain steer me away from improving this area of my life, I used it to give me drive. Every rejection just made me want it even more!
What’s my criteria for success? That I approached. That’s it!
That way I always succeed. It’s in my control, not anyone else’s. By walking up to a girl and saying “I want to tell her she is cute, then take her out for a drink and make her my girlfriend” you will feel more anxiety as you have set your criteria for success much higher and in someone else’s control.
When I approach a girl there is nothing going on in my mind I feel the vibe and go with the flow. I bounce off the girls energy with my masculine energy. The only time I go inside my head to be logical is when I want to bounce her to another venue or get her number or to arrange logistics e.t.c. The rest is all on autopilot. I just ask myself “Does she feel comfortable?” and then I make my next move.
And if I don’t know what to do I just act! It’s best to do something than nothing!!!
Don’t be afraid to “mess it up”. What’s funny is that when you talk to so many women you become less outcome dependent. The reason is because you know you have the ability to approach women so it won’t be long until you find yourself in the same situation again. The next time you can try something different and it’s likely to work this time, as you now have past experience.
What’s my style of pickup?
I prefer to be direct and playful. I like day game as you can create great connections with women, it seems easier to get to know the real them. Night game is also fun as you can end up having crazy experiences with girls that you never thought was even possible!
One thing that I have always done is I experimented and found what works for me. When someone had an idea I would go out and test it to see what happens, rather than mentally masturbating about it on an online forum all day.
So what led me to finding the community?
I was like a lot of guys, I felt lost. I didn’t have the skills to attract women. Apart of me wanted to get laid and just “bang a load of girls” and another part wanted a girlfriend, someone to care for me. I wanted confidence, I wanted to be happier, I wanted to be a cool guy.
I had a vision of myself of how I wanted to be and went for it. I had to ditch my old identity in order to develop a new one, that of an attractive guy. This was extremely hard to do as you have to ditch your old beliefs and everything you thought you knew and start off fresh. Getting first hand experience and going for what you want is crucial to finding out who you truly are. It’s painful and feels almost like an identity crisis as you are looking both externally and internally for the answers. It can be really confusing and frustrating.
Where did I come from?
I came from a place of literally NO social skills. I was so shy and awkward that I would go bright red in the face and start shaking if a hot girl sat next to me on public transport. It was terrible. I had cystic acne, was bullied at school, used to have a speech problem and had a difficult upbringing living with a schizophrenic mother. I still remember my first approach. It was awful. I just stood there shaking and scared the girl away.
How did I get good?
I went out and approached. Simple.
It can be helpful to dedicate a lot of time to it as you will gain social experience very quickly. It’s not something you want to get lost in. It’s important to bring your life back into balance at some point.
And one last thing, as long as you go out and talk to women, then a lot of your problems will correct themselves. Your unconscious mind is processing all your interactions for you, and links up all your past experiences allowing you to know how to act and what to do in the moment.
Follow your gut feeling, push through the pain and reach for the stars.
Peace and love,
Cieran
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