Today I’m going to talk about how to be happy thats right its a science and all you need to do is follow three nice and easy steps! I’m partly kidding and partly not, read on to become a santa getting laid at disney land type character. Boooya
If you are feeling happy then inevitably you will make others around you feel happy too. People gravitate towards people that make them feel good. This human hardwiring keeps us alive. Moving towards things that give you good emotions and away from bad emotions. This is the first level of happiness and is your sensory experience of the earth.
Too often through the avoidance of negative emotions people become indifferent. They are okay where they are, not approaching women, and so don’t take any risks. Maybe a woman could reject you and this negative emotion is something that you want to avoid. In doing so though you are shutting down part of your life and this stagnation will slowly rot you down over time. Realise that sometimes a little pain will result in greater pleasure over the long-term. Realisations like this are one of the core benefits of the mind.
Your experiences of pleasure and pain on the mental level are a lot more powerful than on the physical level. For example if you are in a nice setting with nice people but internally you are stressed it can be very difficult. Alternatively if you are in a not so nice setting but internally you feel happy then life is good. In fact it can be raining and cold but if you feel happy you’ll tend not to focus on any physical limitations.
The second level of happiness comes through removing this mental noise. As a man, acquiring freedom will often lead to greatest happiness. Seeing the world clearly without the mind polluting your perception helps with this. Meditation is the tool used for removing this noise and taming the emotions that come with them.
Many people, myself included believe happiness is a default state of mind. When all the clutter and mental limitations have been removed you can start to feel peace and a long lasting glow of happiness.
The third thing to bare in mind is that each human has a set of common needs that need to be met. For the last couple of years teaching dating full time I have found consistent happiness comes when the following are in place.
If you aren’t happy then probably one of the needs above is missing. Take some time and look at your life, is it in balance? Personally working from home has meant that I need to be more pro-active in the Love and Belonging section. Making sure I see friends and family regularly and nurturing those connections. A day with no social contact can make me feel unhappy. If friends aren‘t around I will go out and give a stranger a cuddle.
Finally on top of meditation and our human needs it is also important to live your life in a responsible way. There is a great article by the Dalai Lama called the A to Z of Zen. This post can be searched for and found on the PUA Method Blog http://www.puamethod.com/wordpress/ It is a simple post but something I found most useful as a guide to living my life. It mentions things like never to lie, cheat or steal. Remove negative influences from your lives. Obviously your family should be loved regardless but choose to spend time with positive sources as well.
Peace and Love,