PUA Blog
PUA Belief System and Removing Approach Anxiety (AA) - p3
Date: 13th April 2009
Author: Kingy
Hey Hey :-)
Summer is coming, time for some Day Game!
Last week I spoke about how to change your belief system by removing those limiting beliefs and enhancing the positive ones.
Having limiting beliefs about approaching women is the reason someone will have Approach Anxiety or AA. Yes if you keep opening you will get used to the process but to remove AA completely this is very hit and miss. You could also actually do more harm than good if you are focusing on the wrong criteria for success. By specifically analyzing what beliefs you have, you can target them and remove them in an instant.
To Recap
STOP - write down in a list beliefs you have about approaching women, both the Pain and Pleasure. Write down as many as you can think of for both sides for five minutes.
Take your three biggest limiting beliefs and now write down all the reasons you can think of why these beliefs are silly.
1. How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?
2. Was the person I learned this belief from worth modeling in this area?
3. What will it ultimately cost me emotionally if I don't let go of this belief?
4. What will it ultimately cost me in my relationships if I don't let go of this belief?
5. What will it ultimately cost my family and loved ones if I don't let go of this belief?
Once you have reasons why the three of your biggest limiting beliefs about approaching women are stupid. Look at the positive beliefs you have about why approaching women is a good thing to do. Write down the top three positive beliefs you have in your pleasure list and give reasons why each positive belief is a good thing.
When you have got your list, take some time and look over it. Read out loud both the pain and pleasure reasons and really visualize what it would be like to achieve each one in your head. Imagine the images making them big, bright and vivid.
This same process is used to remove any belief that might be holding you back, we all have many of them.
There might be times where you revert back to your old beliefs, because years of believing something has caused your brain to lay down certain path ways. This is not always the case though and in many instances you can make a change in an instant as soon as your brain acknowledges that what you are currently doing is causing you pain.
The more you are used to doing something or feeling a certain way the more natural it will feel to feel that way. This means that you will have to actively keep forcing a change in your beleif system in order to sustain it.
Below are some quick fire tips in order to keep on top of your belief system change:-
1. Re-write the limiting belief removing steps once a week.
2. Re-write the positive belief list looking at what benefits doing this new thing will give you, do this once per week.
3. Interrupt your current I cant approach women state by jumping up and down and singing.
4. Lift your head up high, pull your shoulders back and make eye contact with everyone you walk past.
5. Remove outcome dependence by just asking for directions to something and then immediately ejecting afterwards with "thank you". Do this five times.
6. Rehearse in your mind over and over again, you going up to women and using an opener e.g. "Hello im looking for a present for my sister, I only have a couple of minutes could you suggest anything?". Imagine that you are doing it and looking and feeling confident and happy doing it. Don't visualize the woman's reaction or how she responds because we don't care about that. She might be messed up and weird, all we care about is that you can open anytime, anyplace.
7. Every time you go out and approach regardless of outcome give yourself a pat on the back when you get home. Reward yourself to some ice cream, a beer, play on the playstation or take a nice warm shower. Whatever you are into just make sure you do this as soon as you get home from your night out so your brain will start to link positive things to going out and approaching women.
8. Give yourself some verbal re-enforcement every time you approach regardless of the outcome, the important thing is only that you approached. So after every set give yourself a verbal pat on the back. e.g. "I said the whole opener that was really good". "I've approached again im getting more confident at this". Make sure you do this and it really doesn't matter about how it went, just that you said something to her. If you've done this then congratulate yourself.
Please don't misunderstand me. There's nothing wrong with you; you don't need to be "fixed". The resources you need to change anything in your life are within you right now. You just need to correct Neuro Associations to be able to implement the change and this is where the process above comes into play.
It might sound like a tiny bit of work but doing the above will remove Approach Anxiety for good with continual re-enforcement until it becomes part of who you are. This process is taught thoroughly on bootcamps and I've seen even the most nervous of people who haven't been to a nightclub before or even spoken to a girl and are now able to confidently walk up to a girl and say "hi"with no problem at all, after doing these steps.
Kingy
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